THE ONLY HEAVEN I WANT TO SEE
by Moonlight Iris
Summary: Misaki lost his eye sight at eight in the car accident that kill his parents. Instead of looking at the glass half empty he tried his best to live his life as normal as possable. Besides his brother Takahiro he has a second cousin Kaname from his mother side of the family. Usagi-san on the other hand is having a hard time with work and his unrequired love.
1. Chapter 1

I love walking outside on a warm day; I could feel the sun on my face and the breeze. The smell outside was of the city which wasn't that pleasant. The noise did little with the honk of the horns, the people chatting and rushing to the subway. The subway itself was loud and people press to the max made me a little claustrophobic; but I liked my freedom at the moment I knew when I got home I would get a lecture from Nii-Chan and Kaname.

They always worried about me no matter how many times I said I could take care of myself. I'm not stupid I know when to ask for help but I've learned so much sense I was eight, I didn't train so hard, I didn't study all that time for nothing. I wanted to have a somewhat normal life, but they never got the point.

Kaname is our second cousin from our mother's side of the family and the closes relative we have, when he found out about the accident he went so far as to quit his job and moved in to help take care me. We rent a three bedroom apartment so we could all live together. The reason for this is because the same accident that killed Nii-Chan and my parents, took my sight along with it. I was eight at the time it's been almost ten years now and they still treat me like I can't do anything by myself.

I walked around letting myself wonder, the warm sunny day turned to night as the sun went down. I seemed to walk forever with no place in mind. The night was warm on my skin so I didn't need a coat, the sounds changed it was like everything became free. People were clocking off from work, some were just starting. Teenagers were all excited for the weekend and couldn't wait to see the latest movie.

Food and spices filled the air making my stomach growl with hunger. I walked on letting my nose take me to food. I sat at a stool making sure the person behind the counter saw my cane, before I could order a familiar heart beat came to my attention and the footsteps to fallow. "Aito-San and Sakura-San." I said as they approached me.

"Misa-Chan." Sakura-San said placing my hand on his elbow for him to lead me without me feeling like I was leashed. "Honestly it's been so long Misa-Chan."

"Yes it has." I said remembering the last time I saw him was at Bee's Café/Bar. Sakura-San had a blind mother and took training classes which weren't that hard. He knew that instead of grabbing the hand you should give the person your elbow, unlike Kaname and Nii-Chan who would grab my hand and almost drag me like I was a little child that was embarrassing and humiliating. Sakura-San lead me to Bee's Café/Bar and once we walked in the door he said.

"Hey guys look who came for a visit." Aito-San was chuckling and whispered to me.

"He missed you." I laughed and said my hello's to the people there. I think Nii-Chan and Kaname would hit the floor if they ever found out that people knew me in the gay district. Sakura-San led me to a booth and started to read off the specials to me when Kanji-San came over. "Two A sets and a B set one oolong tea and two sake." Kanji-San repeated the order back and gave me a quick hello then went to go place our order.

I sat there talking until a familiar heart beat and footsteps got my attention, his scent was musky but his shampoo smelled like lavender with a little spice. I knew the heartbeat, the footsteps and the scent anywhere. "Usagi-San." I said so glad that he didn't have my hearing because my heart was thumping faster than it should be. I was extremely happy as the strides got closer. Usagi-San is my brother's friend and Usagi-San was hugely in love with Nii-Chan, the first time we met though was here at Bee's Café/Bar he didn't know I was the blind brother of his unrequited love.

I remember it because I almost tripped and he caught me; it's a laugh because he said. "What are you blind?" when I tripped over a stool right in front of me that anyone who could see would have avoided. My answer to that was simply. "Yes." his deep husky voice broke my memory.

"Misaki you lost again." he teased.

"Oh did Nii-Chan call you?" I asked him as he sat down next to me.

"No but then my phones off the hook and my cell's off." He said pulling out his cell and turning it on only to find text after text and voice mail after voice mail from Nii-Chan. I let out a sigh.

"I'm not as helpless as he thinks."

"Of course not." He said answering his phone. "Takahiro what's the matter?" he asked, I swear all he would have to do is whisper in my ear and I would melt. "Misaki well I don't know what you mean by missing his sitting right next to me." he then handed me the phone.

"Hi Nii-Chan what's wrong?" I asked and heard the relief wash through his voice. "I went to the bookstore and bumped into Usagi-San he invited me out to dinner and wouldn't let me say no. we just ordered so I won't be home for a while see you later bye." I said hanging up and giving Usagi-San his phone back.

"What's wrong?" Usagi-San asked.

"How do you tell someone you're in a café/bar in the gay district?" I said and he laughed. It wasn't hard to tell but Usagi-San was in love with my brother but Nii-Chan was so naïve that he was blinder then me. We ate and spoke for a while, he was getting my view point because he thought of writing one of his character's blind. I described things and how I thought things looked which seemed to impress him.


	2. Chapter 2

Akihiko Pov  
I was in love but I knew he didn't see me that way. Through high school we hung out it was very clear to see he had a brother complex. All he would talk about was Misaki (which I thought was a girl's name). He was going to M-University after graduation and I was heading to law school, it was a cold, rainy night we were out together when he got the call. His parents died on impact and his beloved little brother was rush to the hospital, he almost didn't make it but what was worst was that he lost his sight.

Takahiro cried on me all night. "How is he going to go to school, how is he going to get dress or walk down the street. His eight years old GOD DAMMIT, he has every right to see the world." I helped him with the funeral anything I could do to make it easy on him, even found special care services for the impaired. I never saw the boy but months after the accident I heard he went missing Takahiro and their cousin Kaname were beside themselves, turned out the boy walked to the park because they couldn't take him.

I couldn't help it when I heard the little voice in the background. "I'm alright Nii-Chan stop treating me like a baby I can a lease go to the park alone. I know where it is the center is helping me, they teach me how to live and I know how to ask for direction." I was having a laughing fit that I had to hang up.

Later that night I must have wrote ten pages of an outline but I still didn't think it was done. I saved the file and thought I would get back to it later. I had to admit the boy put me in a better mood and that was just hearing his voice.

That wasn't the last time I got a call from Takahiro telling me his brother was missing. I think it was around December I stopped in a place I went ever now and then. A young boy in his teens stumbled over a stool that was right in front of him. "what are you blind?" I asked him as I caught him from falling.

"yes." he said turning to where my voice came from.

"uh sorry." I said and he laughed.

"You don't have to walk on egg shells its fine I normally bring a cane but I left it in my cousin's car when I escaped." He had a mischievous grin on his face and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Do you need help?" I asked him.

"Let me brow me your elbow and look for a foreigner with blond hair and blue eyes goes by Sakura, his boyfriend has black hair and his big so you can't miss them." He said and of course I saw what he met. The blond foreigner was bouncing out of his seat waving as we approached.

"Misa-Chan, Misa-Chan you made it." he said excitedly.

"Nice place." The young teen said.

"Okay Kanji will have three sets of the specials and sake."

"make that four if." He said taping my arm. "you care to join us." He had a smile on his face and for some reason though I don't like people or strangers I couldn't turn him down.

"Sure that's fine with me." we ate and talked the foreigner was bragging about the boys cooking skill.

"Sakura-San will you stop." He said blushing red, sense he was a minor and looking a little drunk I cut him off the alcohol. It was a great night the boy made me laugh and for the life of me I couldn't remember when I ever enjoyed myself so much. The main point was unlike everyone in my life I felt that this boy I just met that I could tell him anything I guess that's why I told him about Takahiro though I never said his name.

"So you love him but his straight and you don't want to ruin your friendship with him. I can understand it to appoint but if you love someone you want to touch them and be touched by them." He said serious. "listen okay tell him how you feel you can't move on without telling him and you know it's going to be rejection so get your heart broken and find a new love, easy said than done I know but it's how things go.

It was the most practical and honest advice anyone gave me. That night I knew I was able to move on. We to a taxi together I was shock stupid when we pulled up to Takahiro's apartment complex. Takahiro was outside talking to a dark brunette as I got out.

"Usagi-Chan what are you—MISAKI!" The men both shouted running over to the boy.

"Hi Nii-Chan, Kaname-Nii."

"Where on Earth have you been are you alright? Usagi-Chan thank you for bring him home." Takahiro said while Kaname looked him over.

"I'm fine I was with some friends." He said walking to the building, I could see what the boy met by over protective and babying him they grabbed his hand and were pulling or dragging like he couldn't walk on his own.

"Thank you again Usagi-Chan." He said as we walked into the apartment there was a dark hair woman that I've never seen before and she smiled.

"We have a guess?" Misaki said giving her a slight bow and introducing himself to her.

"Please to meet you Misaki." She said.

"Oh yes I was going to introduce her to you when you came home today. This is Manami we're getting married." I felt the ground from under me crumble. Next thing I know I was being pulled from the room.

"I'll go by some sake to celebrate your engagement Usagi-San come with." It was funny and I couldn't help but let him pull me he gave me a life raft and I clung to it. We stopped a few blocks away and I heard this emerald green eyed, chocolate brown hair angel's voice as he stood there in front of me crying. "I'm sorry my brother is so clueless."

"Misaki did you know who I was?" he shook his head. "I thought your voice sounded familiar but I never talked to you myself so I didn't remember it." he said still crying and apologized for his brother. He wouldn't stop crying so I kissed him.

It wasn't until later that we came back with some sake, his brother was smiling as we drank and ate then I left.

I left for America taking Misaki's advice and give me some time to mend a broken heart and I knew I was now in love with Misaki but something told me to take my time. Something said to give him space so he doesn't think his a replacement for his brother.

We talked on the phone almost every day and when I finally came back to Japan we started hanging out with a few of his friends or mine. Hiroki thought I gone insane when I introduced them. The words out of his mouth were. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR SEEING SOMEONE TEN YEARS YOUNGER THEN YOU!"

"Hiroki we're not dating his a friend." I said and Misaki backed me up politely.

"Please to meet …?" Hiroki just stared him down giving him a glare.

"Hiroki Kamijo and I am Nowaki Kusama."

"Please to meet you Kusama-San and Kamijo-San I'm Misaki Takahshi."

"Nice to meet you too and you can call me Nowaki." He said holding his hand out when Misaki didn't take it he put it down awkwardly.

"When someone offers to shake your hand you accept it." Hiroki said.

"Uh oh sorry." Misaki said and looked to where I was standing. "You didn't tell them did you?" he asked me and then it hit me.

"Oh no it slipped my mind." I said.

"I'm very sorry I can't see; I'm blind." Misaki said and Hiroki's face softened for a change.

"No I'm sorry." He said.

It was during the time when students start preparing for college exams that Misaki came to my condo and dumped books and things on the table. "Usagi-San I'm sorry I know your busy but please help." he said in a panic. "I found out from my counselor today that I'm a grade below where I should be to get into M-University."

"Why M-University?" I asked looking over his work.

"Because even though Nii-Chan is an over protective worry wart he gave up everything to raise me. I was also talking to Kamijo Sensei and he said they had help, like note takers for people who can't hear and a recording device that records lectures and then turn it into brail for people who can't see." He was so excited and hard working as I tutored him. It was also hard to keep my hands off him though I made sure to keep in mind that he was there to study and nothing else it didn't however stop me from writing.

**He kissed the boys blind eyes and whispered "I love you." the boy gave a soft moan in reply, the man knew beyond a shatter of a doubt that he could hear the pounding of his heart and he slide his big hands down the boys small waist until he could pull the boys legs open. There was a slight resentence but it wavered as the man showered kisses and endless I love yous to this sinful angel. **

Takahiro was promoted and would be moving to Osaka with his wife and Kaname got called back to his home because his father was sick. They assumed Misaki would go with Takahiro and his wife but when Misaki had us all sitting at the table and announced. "I got in to M-University I start this Fall in the economic department." everyone but me was stunned.

"Misaki Takahiro is going to Osaka and I'm going back home now that Takahiro is married and my dad is sick. You're moving to Osaka with them."

"no I'm not I can perfectly take care of myself and if I need help there are people I can call." He said with the utmost assurance but neither of the men approved.

"How about this Misaki can live with me." I said and they all looked at me but Misaki had a big smile on his face.

"Seriously?" he said.

"Yes you're already use to my place, you know where everything is, I'm always home and if I'm working then you can always bother Aikawa." I said.

"deal." He said later on that night Takahiro was trying to tell me everything that might go wrong and how much care he need. I couldn't help but smile and think 'oh if only they knew how much care he didn't need'


	3. Chapter 3

Akihiko Pov

Tears fell down his blind eyes and I couldn't stop them I placed my hand to his cheek trying to whip them away and he grabbed on to it pleading and begging his angle voice was strained; my mind went wondering back to when he moved in with me.

…..

Misaki pov

Why couldn't I see, I wanted to see his face, why now. Twenty years for what, for them to end like this. I couldn't stop the tears and his hand reached up to touch my cheek, all I could do was hang on to it and beg him not to leave me.

…

Akihiko Pov

"Welcome home." I said after his brother and cousin left. It took over ten hours to finally get them to leave. The smile on Misaki's face as he held out a hand and walked to my voice he waved me to lean down like he would tell me a secrete what shocked me was that instead of a secrete he kissed me full on the mouth.

I pulled the eighteen year old to me and kissed him back and was pleased when he opened his mouth so I could slip my tongue in. "Misaki." I said and he pulled away a little.

"I'm sharing your room so help me move all my stuff in there." He said.

"Later." I managed to say as I pushed him on to the couch wanting to have my way with him. I had to remember that this was his first time so everything I did was to make him relax. Before I could make a full connection he uttered.

"Bed." I carried him to the room kissing him on the way. Misaki's hands traced everything, my shoulders, chest, waist, back. He clung to me as I pushed myself into him. His nails dug into my back but I would take that small pain as I watch his face there was no hiding that it hurt but he matched my breath and tried to bare it.

It wasn't long before the pain turned to pleasure and we fell on the bed ready to sleep. Misaki cuddled right up to me and the only thing I could do was wrap my arms around his small frame.

"Misaki I love you." I whispered in his ear and already thinking he was asleep I never thought I would hear.

"I love you too."

My heart, my everything was his. It wasn't long before my family found out about him; my father was surprised and didn't know what to think about Misaki and my half-brother fell in love with him.

Misaki was never really assertive but he looked right at Haruhiko and said. "Haruhiko, I love Akihiko not you so stop this foolishness because I'm with Akihiko for life." It didn't stop my father from interfering.

…

Misaki Pov

The one thing I thought I came to terms with, the one thing I thought I could live without. I wanted to see, I wish I could see and it was all because that stupid rabbit came into my life and made me want to see again. I was mad, pissed; there were no words how mad I was. I didn't need Fuyuhiko Usami telling me what I lacked.

"you can't see how do you think you can take care of him, how can you of all people take care of someone else when you can't take care of yourself." He said along with other words that made me feel useless.

I love that Rabbit more than anything, I wanted to see him with my own eyes but I can't. I ran from the condo getting lost and letting the rain just hit me. The rain brought reverberations and sound when it hit the ground, I love the sound it was almost like being able to see again.

The sounds of the radio playing classic, I love the violin my mom humming along with the tune, my dad smiling and laughing. The headlights that blinded us then the impact; I watched as the firemen pulled me from the car everything was shapes then blurs, shadows finally when I awoke in the hospital nothing but darkness stared back at me.

Fuyuhiko Usami didn't have to tell me what I lacked, but wasn't it enough that I was head over heels in love with his son, wasn't it enough that I would give anything and everything to his son, even my own life. Couldn't that be enough, I brought myself isn't that all anyone could ask for. The one they loved to love them in return and surrender their heart completely to you.

I found myself back at the condo digging through the closet in the bedroom I've never used unless I had a spat with Usagi-san and still I would always end up back in his arms before going to sleep. I finally found what I was looking for and took it out of its case, it's been so long but the feeling was still there and I held the instrument up. The bow went across the strings making a sound that said it needed to be tuned. I spent three hours tuning and then finally took a breath and began playing. Everything I felt, everything that was wrong, right, everything that was me.

…

Akihiko Pov

I punched my father he had no right to say what he did to Misaki. I was in my office when he came over and started ranting on Misaki being blind. Misaki could cook and clean without help how is that not being able to take care of me. Misaki had run out into the rain, I couldn't find him, I checked everywhere with my father tagging along. Talking about the down sides of having a guy for a lover; I spun around looked right in his eye. "Get this through your mind, I love him and I'm never going to give him up." I made my way back to the condo hoping he was home by now. It was as we walked in that we heard the sound of a violin.

We walked upstairs and found Misaki in the spare bedroom playing; my father dropped his jaw to the floor. He finished playing and I couldn't help but clap. "Usagi-San when you get home, what about your deadline."

"I'm not done with it because I ran out looking for you." I said and he frowned.

"You need to finish that now." he said putting the violin back in its case and pushing me out the bedroom door back down to my office.

"Misaki I love you." I said and kissed him.

"Finish your deadline or you won't be kissing me or anything else for three weeks." He threatened which made me give in. "Usami-San would you care for some tea." He called walking down the stairs.

I heard my father say. "How did you know I was here, I wasn't talking." I chuckled as I close the office door. He was going to get the surprise of a life time.

….

Voice Pov

Today was special Misaki and Akihiko were walking down the street, Misaki had his cane in hand and his other hand held onto his lover. He was excited because today was their twentieth anniversary. Earlier today Fuyuhiko sent a wooden carving of two bears sitting down with a heart around them that was engraved happy twentieth anniversary.

As they turned the corner Misaki heard a car engine and the harsh screech of breaks. In that moment Misaki threw Akihiko out of the way.

…

Akihiko pov

Time can be kind or cruel; twenty years and all that was left was the young man I was cling to in the ambulance the medics were working on him as I called out his name. We made it to the hospital and he went straight to surgery. Takahiro, Kaname even my father came running down the hall. I knew one if not all asked me what happen but I couldn't talk, I couldn't' do anything besides sliding down the wall and crying. It was then that we all heard the machine go flat line my heart stopped with his. I wanted to crawl into a whole were nothing could touch me but all I could think of was his smile, his laugh, his voice, his touch. "MISAKI." I shouted at the top of my lungs.


	4. Chapter 4

Voice pov

What was and what was to be, the connections we make, the lives we touch and yet to touch. It's funny how we who see never really see until someone we pity or feel sorry for or wonder why they still live when they miss something that we take for granted show us that we are not living that we are only shadows passing each other that we do not get involve with another life unless it benefits us in some way.

In the hospital brothers, cousins, fathers, sons and friends all looked towards the ER light as it was shut off, the flatter heart that was heard and caused a man to shout out the name of his beloved was the only thing that hung in the air. The doctor came out looking like he had just did battle with death himself. "We've done all we could for him, his heart stopped for a moment but we got it started again." he paused. "It's up to him now."

Misaki was taken to a private room and there he slept on. His silver hair lover sat in a chair and felt so hopeless while he watched Misaki sleep. He began to write a story, the story he had put off for so long.

It was about a man that hated the world blind to all until a normal young woman who has never known what seeing was changed the man completely showing him that the world was beautiful even if you couldn't see it.

Akihiko book made it to the best sellers list the year it came out and to this day people call it the best book he has ever written. Reviews on the book were all of how love poured out of it. The male Lead was so harsh and cold but it was like an awaking to this stone heart that just broke and healed with the touch of the female lead who Akihiko named Misaki.

Akihiko's hand ran through his silver hair, he swore to himself that Aikawa was really a devil because he was 63 and she still look at least late 30s early 40s. But he aged well himself but he had an angel to thank for that; he stopped smoking at the age of forty eight. He was tired with all the deadlines he had to finish and the she-devil almost strangling him to death. He opened the door to his condo. "I'm home." he called out of habit.

"Welcome back." A sweet voice called from the kitchen. "It's cold outside so I'm making hot pot." The voice said as Akihiko came into the kitchen to see his 53 year old lover with a little gray lighting his chocolate hair, but those emerald green eyes though never could see, saw everything. "Grandpa's home." a blond blue eyed girl said standing on a stool in the kitchen.


End file.
